Sep. 12th, 2011

soleilfae: (feeling)
I worry.

I do so partly b/c I feel when I stop worrying about something that that's when a real problem arises.

Right now I'm worried about my heart on my different levels. Part of this requires thought, part of this requires talking, and part of this requires a doctor. Two out of three I can do... it'll be mentally and emotionally draining, but it's doable. The other I can't do at the moment.

So I worry.

Strangely some of these levels would likely be helped with a job and some would likely troubled by it. I don't think these are all necessarily separate levels either. (Last year I freaked out a little on a couple of days when stress was high and I had to scream a lot. Big reason I got a gym membership)
soleilfae: (Girl on a trike)
Health Center Lady-"I'm sorry you make too little to qualify for this and have too much in your savings account to qualify for that."

Me- "Oh! Let me go pay a bill and fix that."

----My pride hates dealing with the fact that I have to go through this to get medical assistance... but my hate of bureaucracy out weighs my pride by quite a bit. Either way this has not been a pleasant process.
soleilfae: (feeling)
Sometimes it feels like my heart is a stranger or estranged to me and I'm having to re/learn everything about it.

--Sentiment realized in conversation that I just haven't been able to put into words until now. This realization means so much to me.


soleilfae: Woman of fire (Default)

July 2012

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