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Days are feeling like they are slipping by like water through my fingers. I blink and all of the sudden it's 7 at night and another day looms closer.
This depresses me. I know I'm thinking a lot about tomorrow. I'm thinking about whether I'll have a job for Sept. I'm thinking about seeing these two men I'm interested in. I'm thinking about the if's and maybe's of tomorrow and letting today fly away. This is a problem.
I know it's a problem, but at the same time I don't know what to do about it. I could get a plane ticket.. with having little money to depend on if a job doesn't pull through. I could drive to see the other, but he's crazy busy and always on the move. I could go hammer down the doors of the school district... but that could be viewed as terrifying.
I have been upping my game with the school and keeping in touch with the men as well as I can... Really it's not as much about actions as it is about mindset and I can't figure out how to get myself out of the rut of a mindset that I've fallen into. If I do or don't have a job come Sept I at least want to enjoy the free time I find myself with. Is that so hard... Always anticipating, not enjoying nearly enough.
This depresses me. I know I'm thinking a lot about tomorrow. I'm thinking about whether I'll have a job for Sept. I'm thinking about seeing these two men I'm interested in. I'm thinking about the if's and maybe's of tomorrow and letting today fly away. This is a problem.
I know it's a problem, but at the same time I don't know what to do about it. I could get a plane ticket.. with having little money to depend on if a job doesn't pull through. I could drive to see the other, but he's crazy busy and always on the move. I could go hammer down the doors of the school district... but that could be viewed as terrifying.
I have been upping my game with the school and keeping in touch with the men as well as I can... Really it's not as much about actions as it is about mindset and I can't figure out how to get myself out of the rut of a mindset that I've fallen into. If I do or don't have a job come Sept I at least want to enjoy the free time I find myself with. Is that so hard... Always anticipating, not enjoying nearly enough.