Apr. 24th, 2011

So...

Apr. 24th, 2011 01:07 am
soleilfae: (Getting older)
My birthday is coming up.

Yep.. I'm turning 30.

Popular culture makes us think that we should dread this birthday, especially women. There should be lies about our age and great shame especially if you don't have a family or a steady job yet (...yeah, nope don't see anyone like that around here ::as she looks around not having kids or a permanent job yet).

Me?

I'm so looking forward to this birthday. I'm not even fully aware of all the reasons why. I know it feels like a good thing. I know astrologically it is a super shiny thing. Past those reasons I really don't know. In my past birthdays were typically surrounded by negative. Family surgeries, problems with loved ones, and generally just bad days. Celebrations for these days haven't been many since elementary.

Part of me wants to celebrate this day and have a great princess day. Part of me is terrified and just waiting for my world to cave in, even if just for a moment.

I'm ok with being 30 and I'm ok with not having children at this moment (though I do want children), in fact, I want to celebrate my age. I suppose I'm just worrying about the little things ,and hoping and praying they aren't in actuality big things. Truly I think as the day comes and goes I'll simply be relieved. It just feels like there's so much pent up energy right now that's waiting for that 'big' event... maybe I'm just really silly.

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soleilfae: Woman of fire (Default)
soleilfae

July 2012

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